My husband has a date!

Keith has been texting his friend Jen for a few weeks now. She used to work for the same company, though they never really talked until the season was over, but recently she reached out to him for some advice on going back to school for a similar job as his. And so he suggested meeting up for lunch. Their texting got flirty, but then she backed off when she learned he was married.

The more Keith and I talked the more I realized how much I wanted him to pursue this relationship with Jen, regardless of where it went. We set some rules that we both felt comfortable with, and he assured Jen that I was okay with their flirty texting and lunch date relationship. I’m not sure if it’ll turn into a full fledged girlfriend status, since she’s leaving in a few months to go back to school, but he’s enjoying getting to know her, and she has seemed really receptive to the openness of our marriage situation, going from somewhat jealous that he would stop texting to hang out with me, to now asking about how I am and even suggesting we all get together for a double date sometime (me with Anne, Keith with her, all of us together?!). I love that she’s thinking that way, because while I have no interest in dating her too, if she’s going to be a metamour I would really like to know her and have a non-sexual relationship with her.

So after I cleared my Friday night date plans for dinner with Anne, Keith said, “not to go tit for tat, but how would you feel if I took Jen to the Wednesday night soccer game next week?” I think he still sometimes thinks I’m going to freak out, when the exact opposite happens. It feels weird putting it into writing that I get really happy and excited that he is pursuing and getting to know someone else, and that it could possibly become sexual. At any rate, the immense freedom I feel knowing that I don’t have to go to a Wednesday night soccer game, something that starts to get bogged down in my schedule with things every single night, is also practically exciting. Keith gets to take a lady friend out, they can have a good time, and I can be home doing homey things.

It might seem like time spent apart might make us grow apart, but I actually feel closer and more connected than ever before. I really like it, and am so excited that he is getting to go on a date!

3 thoughts on “My husband has a date!

  1. I think open relationships are becomming more mainstream, but I also think that they have to be treated with more care. I know I suggested it to my wife once, because I thought she could use more attention than I could provide. She was absolutely not comfortable with the idea and assumed I was wanting an excuse to cheat. For us, although I’m bisexual, she wants exclusivity. But I also think that each relationship is different and if openness is where you’re at, then all the power to ya.

    1. I really like the openness, with clear rules and communication, but I am nervous about the possibility in the future of him ‘dating’ someone who I don’t like or get along with. This girl he’s seeing now is really cool and totally into/respects the dynamic, but I admit part of me is nervous about the potential partners that could happen…but I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it!

      Thanks for your thoughts. I do think it’s hard conversations to have, though when I met my husband he knew I was bisexual and told me that if I ever wanted to date women on the side he was fine with it. And when I met him he was openly dating 4 girls, so ending up here isn’t a huge surprise!

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